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The ELMO Saga continues... Chapter five: 2009

HASTA LA VISTA BOOBY... ELMO be BACK!
A sordid tale of money, lust, friendship, fame... (& robots)

Once again ELMO was setting off with his club mates on the long trek to the Phoenix 2009 in Bisley.

He was a bit short of cash as his Government expenses had recently been revealed in the Daily Mail so he had to pay back £297.43p which he had claimed for the services of a lady of the night.... yes that’s right, a lady of the night…, he had been clandestinely meeting a buxom woman called Gladys who had a staggering size 46DD bust and worked in a well known Supermarket as a bouncy castle on the night shift, the £297.43p was used to subsidise her wages over three nights while she took time off to “groom” ELMO in the local park!

This may come as a surprise to most of you that ELMO works for the government but if you cast your mind back to 2007 to his last Adventure “ELMO & the last Lu-crusade” you may remember that he was working as a Spy for MI6 to locate the secret Lucozade lakes.

Well this year because he didn’t have a lot of money to splash around (usually he’s very generous with his dosh) he was sponging off everyone else and as you can see by the photo’s he was popping up everywhere to scrounge a pint or something to eat and because he’s so cute (and the LCBM mascot) the shooters didn’t want to see him go without.

On the morning of the first full day in Bisley he took a mysterious phone call and wouldn’t say who it was from, all day he was being very secretive about it, but after plying him with a couple of drinks in the Army Bar later that evening Bev managed to prise it out of him, it turns out it was from his old friend and drinking pal James Cameron the famous movie director who was stuck for someone to play the lead in his latest movie The MUPPINATOR

This movie takes place in 1985, introducing the concept of a "MUPPINATOR" (played by ELMO) a seemingly unstoppable cyborg Muppet who has been sent back in time from the year 2029 by a collective of artificially intelligent computer-controlled machines bent on the extermination of the Muppet race.

The MUPPINATOR's mission is to kill Sara Conner (Janice) whose future son, Jon Conner, (Grover) leads a resistance against the machines. A Muppet called Karl Reese (Ernie) is also sent back from the future by Jon Conner himself to protect her. Because if the MUPPINATOR kills Sara Conner she wouldn't give birth to her son Jon Conner therefore he wouldn't be born to lead the Resistance against the machines... or to send Karl Reese back to protect Sara Conner from the MUPPINATOR........ I'm confused....!!

James Cameron contacted ELMO to ask him if he could step in to the role because the Cookie monster had pulled out after a very nasty bust up with the caterers about his daily Cookie allowance…

ELMO explained that he was on a shooting weekend with his LCBM mates and in his capacity as their Mascot but told him, if he could wait a couple of days he would be free from Monday, James reluctantly agreed he would halt filming until ELMO could get there.

ELMO took the first flight to New York New York on Monday and started filming on the Wednesday.

He spent seven months on set and had a brief affair with his co-star in the movie, an old friend from Sesame Street called Janice who was in the band (and is a “Spitting Image” of Donatella Versace).

They broke up just before his return to the UK and both stated that “it was just sex, no strings”

Well as we all know, Muppets have no strings, so it must be true… :o)

Starring:
ELMO as the MUPPINATOR
Janice as Sara Conner, Grover as Jon Conner & Ernie as Karl Reese
with guest appearances by the LCBM Members & shooters at the Phoenix 2009 meeting.

The Producers would like to thank everyone that was involved in the making of this Adventure,
and also to mention that the cast are highly trained and perform all their own stunts. (eventually!)
So we beg you, do not, under any circumstances, attempt these stunts at home!

Photo's by: Bev, Tony P, & DevilSpawn. Technical Advisors: Bev, Tony P, Teresa & DevilSpawn.
Written, Edited & Posted by: DevilSpawn, ELMO lovingly trained by Beverley A.
If these photo's contain any likeness to persons or animals living or dead it's purely coincidental... and really.. really sad...!

Keep checking back for the thrilling next instalment in… “The Continuing Adventures of ELMO”

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